I’ve sat and stared at my computer off and on for weeks. The cursor just blinks at me, and my fingers sit there, frozen. If there is anything I’ve learned from my love of writing, it’s that the words only come when there is truth and authenticity behind them. Frankly, all the words that are on my heart, I’ve been too scared to say.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I’ve been dreading it for weeks. This is my first birthday I’ve ever had as a single adult. And I’ve realized over the years I’ve relied heavily on my birthday to feel loved (you know the book The Five Love Languages? They should probably add birthdays as a 6th).
It’s funny to me, I’ve created an entire career with the intention of empowering people. The only thing I want to contribute to the world is giving people the ability to look at themselves and see how amazing they are. I think about it constantly. I live it. I breathe it. And yet, I sit here by myself, and in this moment, I am scared to wake up tomorrow and feel completely forgotten ( I know, it’s kind of bullshit.).
In this whole crazy process of dreaming up Brazen Mae, ending my marriage, finding myself, etc. I have been scared, worried, felt utterly consumed in loneliness. It has been in those moments that I hear the question, “If the future version of yourself was standing in front of you, knowing everything that would happen in your life, what would she tell you about right now?” The reality of all of this is that we truly become our thoughts. So I have had the option of sitting in this epic festive pity party (like, SUPER festive), or I can listen to future Melissa (I feel like she’s probably pretty awesome).
This is what I imagine she would say:
Happy Birthday ya bitch! (Just kidding, I’m sure future Melissa is much more of a lady… maybe). 33 was a hell of a year. You have some bruises, some scars, some new discoveries of yourself. Everything in your life has prepared you for this moment. ALL OF IT. So take it, own it, freaking run with it. You aren’t perfect… but your purpose isn’t to be perfect, it’s to be real. The unknown is scary, but as long as you continue to be steadfast in who you are, everything is going to be okay. I repeat, everything is going to be okay. The universe is looking out for you. So continue to live life fearlessly and with passion and the right doors will open for you (and the wrong ones will close). Know that you are enough. YOU. BY YOURSELF. ARE ENOUGH. You are a strong, badass powerful woman, and it’s okay to have moments of weakness, but know at the end of the day, you are a freaking fighter. Stay true to your purpose and have a hell of a lot of fun along the way. This next year is going to be more amazing than you can imagine. It’s time to celebrate that. xo
What would the future version of yourself tell you about your life right now?